October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, it falls in the middle of the month of October which 10 years 20 years ago (whoops, it was late!) was declared Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month by then President Ronald Reagan. It isn’t just a day for Becky and I. Our family and many of our friends know that we have experienced a total of three losses. (Logo from Footprints Support Group)
Our first pregnancy resulted in a miscarriage in the first trimester in January of 2003. We tried again later and our second pregnancy also ended with a first trimester miscarriage, this time in August of 2003. At the time they happened, we didn’t name our babies, but we later decided to. Becky is fond of her Irish heritage and we didn’t know the gender of either baby, so we picked two Irish names that can be used for either. The first baby we named Enda, and the second we named Kiley (pronounced Keely).
We found out Becky was pregnant for the third time in February of 2004. At around 15 weeks they did some testing (AFP and later amniocentesis) and a diagnostic ultrasound and determined that the baby had a genetic abnormality which we later determined was Turner’s Syndrome…but the more significant thing was seen on the ultrasound. The baby had swelling on the head and the entire body and it was pretty certain that the baby would not make it. We tried our best to cope with that news and perhaps pray for a miracle and we named our little girl Faith Emma. At our OB appointment on June 11, they determined that Faith had passed away. The next day, June 12, 2004, they induced labor and Becky delivered Faith. She would have been due on October 22.
At the beginning of the month, Felicity and I along with my parents attended the Walk to Remember which is sponsored by the Footprints Support Group that Becky and I attended for over a year after we lost Faith. It’s the 4th walk I’ve attended, Becky was extremely disappointed she couldn’t make it this year as she had a baby shower to attend in Phoenix.
Now that we are so busy keeping up with Felicity and Michaela, we don’t often find the time to think about our three angels. But we know they are there, watching over their sisters…and we definitely have not forgotten about them. During the walk and over the last few weeks I’ve had a chance to think about them and I’m amazed how quickly the feelings come rushing back.
We love our babies and we miss them terribly. It’s hard to imagine a family other than the one we have, but now that we have watched the miracle of life and love in Felicity and Michaela, it makes me sad for the potential that will never be realized on this earth by our other babies. We will never forget them. Please join us today in honoring their memory.
#1 by Aurora on Wednesday, October 15, 2008 - 8:14 am
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I feel like such a horrible mother I didn’t even know there was a day like today
*marks day on calendar for future reference*
I always think about you guys and the babies you lost… Whenever I think of mine of course Becky is one of the first people to enter my mind, and you know becky I will be eternally grateful for you and for how you were there for me on that sad day…. So i always turn to you and the babies you lost and say prayers and send out warm thoughts out to the universe, as I know how even years later it can still bring tears to our eyes.. I LOVE YOU ALL!
#2 by Patricia Bolle Hurley on Wednesday, October 15, 2008 - 6:09 pm
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Randy, I am sorry to hear about your losses, but happy to hear that your two daughters are doing so well. Last March, I lost a baby who was also diagnosed as having Turner's Syndrome. We didn't name the baby, but we call her Baby Hurley and I know she is somewhere watching over us.
#3 by Jonathan Reeve Martin on Wednesday, October 15, 2008 - 9:13 pm
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Thinking about you and your family Randy.
#4 by Randy Post on Wednesday, October 15, 2008 - 9:29 pm
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Thank you both for your well wishes. Patty, I'm sorry to hear about your loss, I wouldn't wish that kind of heartache on my worst enemy.